Far From Home

I usually tell people I'm from Los Angeles because that's a place in California everybody knows about, because if I say the area I'm actually from people tend to feel a little lost.

Ventura (where I live) is one county directly west of LA, and further left of that is Santa Barbara. If you're ever vacationing to Cali, I recommend Santa Barbara, because there's better beaches and scenery, whereas LA is filled with homeless people and smells like piss.

Camarillo (usually dubbed "Cam" for short) is the city I'm from within Ventura, with a population of about 70k people. Definitely not big city but also not the middle of nowhere, it's a small town where you'll know plenty of people but not meet them every day. Many of my friends agree that Cam is the "loading screen" between the cities surrounding it, since there's really nothing to do. Most residents are basically retirees and old people, so as a result, pretty much the only activities we have are food and shopping, or tennis/pickleball if you're into that. 

Cam is also between Oxnard and Somis, which have vast stretches of land dedicated to strawberry harvesting. These parts have lots of Mexicans, so there's a decent Spanish-speaking population, but they usually get their kids to translate English for them when communication is needed. As with many places in the U.S., it's damned near impossible to get anywhere without a car, but at least parking is free, unlike LA where pretty typical prices are $3-4 every 15 minutes. I personally ride a bike when I can to avoid paying monstrously high gas prices (especially now) unless I have to drive people. 

Rich folk usually live in The Pinnacles or Spanish Hills, the gated communities on the hills that overlook the rest of the peasants within the same city. A typical house will start at about $700k, but theirs go for some $2.5 million with private pools and everything. On Halloween, those were the neighborhoods everybody (including me) went to for king size candy bars. Super old people will live in Leisure Village, a large gated retirement community (you literally have to be 55+ to live there) designed to be quiet and safe. Us young folk like to call it "seizure village" for fun.

For shopping, there's the outlets (our version of a mall), where everything is on the same flat plot of land due to earthquake risks. I honestly don't know much about this place since I like never go there because I hate shopping, but it's there.

We were also in the show Fallout. There's a place called Scary Dairy, an abandoned dairy farm from what used to be a mental hospital, which later became the university I currently attend. Trespassing Scary Dairy is probably the most exciting thing you can do in this city, since it has ghost stories and urban legends or whatever, along with the risk of getting caught. But on the face, it's just a decaying isolated place with a bunch of spraypaint.

We also have a meme page on Instagram (@ladsofcam) run by a local high school graduate that makes jokes about the cities in our area. They're pretty funny, though if you don't live there some things might not make sense. This should, though.

The local smoothie place that everybody likes (including me) is Blenders, they're good but holy moly are they pricey. Last time I was in the area, it was $7.50 for a 700mL cup. That's not including tip, but if you're like me you can just select zero. I had a friend that worked there, and I asked him if he cared when people didn't tip him, and he said no, that he was already getting minimum wage no matter what, and he wasn't expecting an extra 15-20% just for hitting a few buttons. Anyway, when you order your smoothie, they give you the option to add a free supplement. Most people pick something healthy-sounding, but some monsters will pick none, which is just absolutely unacceptable.

We have a skatepark, but not many actual spots like stair sets, ledges, or anything big, since the place is generally pretty flat. Skaters that like obstacles will usually go to LA, spot to spot as they get kicked out by security from each place. There's a few flat areas though, enough I was able to film a skate part before I left for Japan. Everything in the video is in my city, except for the shots with the ocean in the background, those were in Newport (past LA, by Long Beach).

Being in California, we have In N Out, and yes it's as good as it's hyped up to be. It's not as good as say, an actual sit-down restaurant, but when compared to other fast foods, In N Out comes out on top, and McDonald's is dead last. I personally order a double double animal style, and ask for a water cup to fill with pink lemonade, since their tap water tastes weird. Most people will order a burger, animal fries and a drink, usually soda or a shake.

There's a not-so-secret menu you can use for reference when ordering if you're looking for something more interesting. Not listed there is a "flying dutchman" which is two patties and cheese in the middle. One of my friends actually orders just meat and tomato. I'm not sure why, I've never asked him.

The weather is very easy to predict, as 90% of the time it's sunny, 9% cloudy, and 1% rain. It rains like 5 days out of the entire year, and when it does, it pours. We get drinking water imported from other places where it actually rains. It's also dry as hell, so as a result we get no mosquitoes, and you can stand in 30°C+ weather without melting in the sun. It's dry enough that I sometimes get spontaneous nosebleeds, but these are few and far between. The "creek" in our area is really just a bunch of sand. It only actually becomes a mild river when it rains, but there's a bike path next to it with some ups and downs along the way.

That being said, we do get flash flood warnings when it rains, but earthquakes in my experience haven't been too bad. I've felt a slight shake, but nothing to the point that I felt scared. Knowing me, if I had the chance I might try standing up and "riding it out" like a surfer riding out a wave. It's probably dumb, but I've never gotten the chance to try it, so I'm curious if I could hold my balance. Besides earthquakes, we usually have fires every few years, usually originating from areas with dry brush. Some people lost their houses, but I was lucky the closest the flame got was maybe 3km from mine.

Lots of people get hyped over this donut place called Rolling Pin, I don't personally like it because they're expensive and not very good in my opinion. Me and my friends like going to Donut Queen (colloquially referred to as "Queens"). The donuts are cheaper, better, and they're cash only, probably to avoid paying taxes. There's also a nice Asian lady that gives a free donut if she recognizes you.

There's basically no night life here, as almost everything closes at 10pm, so if you're out, pretty much your only options are the McDonald's drive-thru, (they close the diner at 9), In N Out, Denny's, Taco Bell, Rolling Pin and Queens. As a result, people tend to go to other cities for a night out. It's a lot safer than LA though, one of my friends said "the sketchiest parts of Cam are better than the best parts of the valley (LA)" which I agree with, as here you can actually walk outside at night without getting shot. It actually gets so quiet at night, that if you're out at 2am like I am sometimes, you'll hear a car coming (as long as it's not a Tesla) about 1km away before you actually see it.

There's the Camarillo airport which does flyovers every year, I'm not personally interested in that sort of thing but if you are then it might be something worth checking out. Uh, we're pretty close to the beach, it's maybe a 20-30 minute drive depending on where you go. There's also mountains with trails if that interests you, though I don't like hiking personally. Oh, weed is also legal here, so if that suits your fancy you can absolutely get zooted. I sometimes smell it when I go out places, but depending on the area it might just be skunk. This is Eddy. Everybody say hi to Eddy.

While writing this, I realized that, I feel no amount of detailed description or pictures I provide could give a truly accurate idea of what this place is like. I'm not saying it's bad, I mean it sure feels boring after some time, but what I'm saying is that while a picture is worth a thousand words, it's still just a 2D image. Like, I look at these pictures and know where they were taken because I've been in that 3D space, but for people that haven't been there, this is their entire perspective. Like, I wish I could just pull the viewer through the screen and into the actual environment instead of just showing this idealized version of it, as I noticed the images from my own camera roll have way more soul than the ones I found online. At the very least, after being in Japan for so long, writing all this out and tediously going through my phone looking for pictures made me remember how much I liked my hometown. If any y'all are ever in the area gimme a ring, I'll be back eventually.